Pastoring is hard—in fact, my experiences lead me to this conviction—pastoring is harder now than it used to be! Whether it is the influence of the secular culture or the lack of commitment by congregants or the unsustainable pace of life by most pastors, the task is hard. If you are entering your first pastorate or refocusing your present pastoral career, I offer these simple but hopefully helpful tips to remind you that while the pastorate is hard, it is still the greatest of callings for a minister. You are trusted and it is my conviction you can and will succeed.
Not all of these are original thoughts but have been migrated from experiences, relationships, conversations, etc. with pastors globally. I hope they will help you…
VALUE RELATIONSHIPS MORE THAN POSITION. Somewhere along the way you get the idea that more than anything else, people remember you for “being there.” When I pastored my first church, I went around to all the vendors who did business with the church and when I introduced myself most would ask “is that the church where Pastor Jones was?” I would nod but never offer that I was the 4th pastor SINCE Pastor Jones retired. What Pastor Jones did was practice the art of being “present” with his people—engaged and involved. No one ever remarked about the quality of his sermons but no one forgot the fact he showed “the night mom died” or “the day I got married” or “when our son was born.” Make sure you never forget that!
CHANGE REQUIRES MORE THAN DECISIONS. Sometimes change is so important it must occur but it’s always hard for people to accept change. We like things the way we like them and I’ve come to believe your congregants don’t view church the way you and I do. We see movement as good, view change as progress—they view the church as a safe place and change is not all that popular. Every change decision I’ve made caused impact and there is an important distinction between forcing change and leading change.
LEARN YOUR WEAKNESSES AND STAY ALERT. This is one I wished I had learned early. Every leader has weaknesses and the sooner you find yours, the better your career as a pastor will be! Naaman (2 Kings 6) was a mighty warrior BUT he had leprosy. Acknowledging the weaknesses that could derail your future will only serve to help you realize where the enemy will try to attack you. It’s a sign of leadership strength to recognize weakness.
YOUR FAMILY IS YOUR FIRST CHURCH. Ministry can keep you so busy you can lose yourself, all the while working for God. Many has been the pastor who failed to keep it straight. It goes like this—love God—your spouse—your kids—your ministry. Any other order will cause you to be unbalanced in the proper order of life priority. Take dedicated days off. Plan extended vacation and don’t feel guilty about it.
KEEP SMILING. Humor relieves stress and you should laugh more than you cry. Stop stressing and realize you have much to smile about. By smiling, you are not discounting pain or refusing to accept reality but smiling is an intentional decision to rise above, to embrace the joy of the journey. Call your friends, laugh hilariously at silly things—You’ll feel better for doing it.
BE REAL. Your people values sincerity and genuineness, so lead with that. Be as transparent as you feel comfortable but always be yourself. Take off the mask and be the real you. Titles are okay and respect from others is notable but in the end—you are who you are—not who people think you are and when you live in the reality of that you can be authentic is ways that will transform ministry and life, so take the mask off and be yourself—you deserve it!
VALUE SMALL THINGS. Over time, little things get bigger. I don’t know who first said that but I’m buying. The phone call with my grand-daughter, the walk in my neighborhood, sleep, quiet and solitude, good food, and a great friend. Around your church are some little things that never get noticed and someone should value them. Not everything that shines bright or sounds loud is important. Take time to hold a baby, talk with a visitor, write a personal note to affirm accomplishment…the little things. When it’s over—you never regret the little things you come to value.
LIVE VULNERABLE. Pastors are public people and there is a lot of attention focused and it can confuse your heart. This is not about your fame or stardom. In fact, this is not about you at all. Rather it is about God at work through you becauase you are humble and obedient. Daniel reminded a Babylonian king once that it is God who decides who leads and how long they lead. Don’t forget that—you are leading because God decided—watch for arrogance!
REMEMBER WHY YOU’RE IN MINISTRY. The original building is no longer standing but from time to time I got back to the location and I remember. I remember the night I said “yes”…and I remember how that decision changed everything. He asked and I surrendered and the rest is the story of who God is and what God does for those who trust Him. There have been good times and bad ones. In the good times I try to pause and appreciate the privilege I have been given with my life and in the bad times, I feel like the Apostle Paul (1 Timothy 1:12-16) and I am thankful He would trust me so much to call me into the ministry.